BY THIS WE SHALL KNOW THAT WE ARE OF THE TRUTH AND REASSURE OUR HEART BEFORE HIM; FOR WHENEVER OUR HEART CONDEMNS US, GOD IS GREATER THAN OUR HEART, AND HE KNOWS EVERYTHING.
1 JOHN 3:19-20 (ESV)
Brothers and Sisters, I must confess to you that for the past several years, I’ve lived a majority of the time with the condemned heart mentioned above. I have felt its cold, empty weight. I have carried it to work and home from work – to church and home from church. Through the conviction of the Holy Spirit, I knew why it was there, but I did my best to ignore it. In fact, the very reason for my heavy and condemned heart helped me to ignore it. It also produced a numbness that seemingly no amount of prayer, healthy living, knowledge, or worldly pleasures could remove.
This past weekend I had the blessing to attend a men’s retreat at Camp Barakel. I entered with a very specific goal: to leave my cold, condemned heart in Northern Michigan, and to come home with a renewed spirit.
Early Saturday morning, I joined a group of men for a “worship walk” around Shear Lake. Led by a wise man of faith (whom I want very much to model my life after), forty or so men spent an hour hiking around the lake. We stopped periodically to take in God’s creation and meditate on psalms and poetry read by our guide. I could fill pages on the beauty of this experience, but I will spare you for now .
After the first stop of the hike, my condemned heart weighed heavily with every step. I prayed a simple and desperate prayer:
“Lord, soften my heart.”
We continued our hike and my mind floundered between hopeful expectation and crippling doubt that this prayer would be answered. Why now? Why not sometime over the past several years of difficulty?
At the very last stop of the hike, while our guide read a poem about the busyness of life that often distracts us from what truly matters, the weight of condemnation lifted. My heart softened. By God’s unfathomable grace, my prayer was answered. Over the course of the weekend, it became clear as to both why my heart was under condemnation, and what I had to do about it.
BELOVED, IF OUR HEART DOES NOT CONDEMN US, WE HAVE CONFIDENCE BEFORE GOD; AND WHATEVER WE ASK WE RECEIVE FROM HIM, BECAUSE WE KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS AND DO WHAT PLEASES HIM. AND THIS IS HIS COMMANDMENT, THAT WE BELIEVE IN THE NAME OF HIS SON JESUS CHRIST AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER, JUST AS HE HAS COMMANDED US. WHOEVER KEEPS HIS COMMANDMENTS ABIDES IN GOD, AND GOD IN HIM. AND BY THIS WE KNOW THAT HE ABIDES IN US, BY THE SPIRIT WHOM HE HAS GIVEN US.
1 JOHN 3:21-24 (ESV)
For the past several years (and likely longer), I’ve followed the first half of this commandment and made a mockery of the second. My faith was in Jesus, but my love was not for “one another.” It was for myself. By no means was it a pure form of love, but rather a self-seeking endless cycle of empty earthly pleasure. My weapons of choice were Netflix, Disney+ and video games, but the options are endless. Each day was an unfulfilling cycle of numbness that was focused almost entirely on my own desires.
I realized that to follow the second half of this commandment, I had to deny myself, take up my cross and follow Jesus (Luke 9:23). In order to love others well, I needed deep roots in the truth of God’s word. But where would I find the time?
I’ll tell you where: Instead of waking up, working, getting the kids to bed at 8pm and then spending the next 3 hours numbing myself with the pleasures of this world, I would do something drastic and revolutionary. I would go to bed.
…And wake up early to spend the morning in God’s word, in prayer and in development of other spiritual disciplines that have produced fruit in the lives of generations of faithful followers of Jesus. I would also quit the video games entirely and cut WAY back on my consumption of other forms of entertainment. The goal being to bring the ultimate focus of my life closer in line with the command to “believe in the name of Jesus and love one another.”
Praise God that my wife quickly agreed to this lifestyle shift and at this point we’re 4 days deep. We’ve committed to this for a month, but I do not see us going back. The fruits of this change – more loving interactions with the people we come across and a sense of peace and contentment – have begun to blossom.
I am so thankful for our God who is “greater than our heart,” who allowed me to go through this difficult season of selfish pleasure, who sustained me through it, and brought me to a “new and living way” of obedience (Hebrews 10:20). I pray that he will sustain me in this for as long as I live.
Where do you stand? Is your heart under the cold, empty weight of condemnation? I hope that it is not. If it is, I pray with the writer of Hebrews that: “Today if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.” (Hebrews 3:15). Friend, I have good news: God is greater than our Heart, and he knows everything (1 John 3:20).
“Wait,” you ask, “isn’t this a new song devotional?”
Yes. It is.
This Sunday we’re singing a new song. It’s called “Light of Your Grace.” It’s written from this section of 1 John 3. It is a very good song. I’ll be singing it this Sunday with a fresh memory of God’s gracious power and purposed redemption.
Would you join me?
